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[159.112.244.55]) by mx.google.com with UTF8SMTPS id d75a77b69052e-5148e82f551si150304721cf.126.2026.05.12.10.07.56 for (version=TLS1_2 cipher=ECDHE-ECDSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256 bits=128/128); Tue, 12 May 2026 10:07:56 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: pass (google.com: domain of bounce+a6cce7.4d1858-tjphuhs=gmail.com@mg2.substack.com designates 159.112.244.55 as permitted sender) client-ip=159.112.244.55; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; dkim=pass header.i=@mg2.substack.com header.s=mailo header.b=rRUoHGoc; dkim=pass header.i=@mailgun.org header.s=mg header.b=Oc9vwJ+m; spf=pass (google.com: domain of bounce+a6cce7.4d1858-tjphuhs=gmail.com@mg2.substack.com designates 159.112.244.55 as permitted sender) smtp.mailfrom="bounce+a6cce7.4d1858-tjphuhs=gmail.com@mg2.substack.com"; dmarc=pass (p=REJECT sp=REJECT dis=NONE) header.from=substack.com DKIM-Signature: a=rsa-sha256; v=1; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=mg2.substack.com; q=dns/txt; s=mailo; t=1778605676; x=1778612876; h=List-Unsubscribe-Post: List-Unsubscribe: List-Post: List-Id: List-Archive: List-Owner: Reply-To: In-Reply-To: References: Sender: Sender: Date: Message-Id: To: To: From: From: Subject: Subject: Content-Type: Mime-Version: X-Feedback-Id; bh=aPm20YB/CcDm5LcyD9bq3Nl6BpPgQ+fCVAbbTE7or6A=; b=rRUoHGocgdy86JvdRW9WT7MBxgVdHxGFIkCbpaBdPOqx7viKwdnivuU3MqXRXbTiJgiOFSHF/l4Ct0y+XI4iMSej9NcLESALkHbExwMjY9d3FOgjp8JclqgcfLvI7gekB+abZJjp0S5tTlqfIqnQY7FKlf7dbQa4cg7/mk/rSJE= DKIM-Signature: a=rsa-sha256; v=1; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=mailgun.org; q=dns/txt; s=mg; t=1778605676; x=1778612876; h=List-Unsubscribe-Post: List-Unsubscribe: List-Post: List-Id: List-Archive: List-Owner: Reply-To: In-Reply-To: References: Sender: Sender: Date: Message-Id: To: To: From: From: Subject: Subject: Content-Type: Mime-Version: X-Feedback-Id; bh=aPm20YB/CcDm5LcyD9bq3Nl6BpPgQ+fCVAbbTE7or6A=; b=Oc9vwJ+m9WLtmcs9JKQpkEDE+RTwcTwyAhvWMVm4U/krdNpMHLCc+EYe/8ZEhQo2GPVzEiv0Z+go0xNdu6sAx6ClrJ8lXXwZsQx9udivFQ3jpYEAef++n48OiaH0Avzvk26dKjBslZgr2fAujR92McT8gFIMOwwixVIwshpWd/I= X-Mailgun-Sid: WyIxODZiYSIsInRqcGh1aHNAZ21haWwuY29tIiwiNGQxODU4Il0= X-Feedback-Id: postmaster@mg2.substack.com:post:5a78b6d5cd16820001f2a9d4:mailgun Received: by ba2b67937d6dffbb1c8c0348520a0bbe521ba6225bb6e6986ef7a796ff8ed2e2 with HTTP id 6a035e6b6ff65889b3762847; Tue, 12 May 2026 17:07:53 GMT X-Mailgun-Sending-Ip: 159.112.244.55 X-Mailgun-Batch-Id: 6a035e6a70a1fb6dde2f770e Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="647e621e5172ef5ef053756890c600cbcd12e1e06336f4c3dccf2178419b" Subject: Open Tab: Esther Perel From: Substack To: tjphuhs@gmail.com X-Mailgun-Tag: post X-Mailgun-Track-Clicks: false Message-Id: <20260512160435.3.6965783057e96241@mg2.substack.com> Date: Tue, 12 May 2026 16:04:35 +0000 Feedback-Id: post-197362582:cat-post:pub-1:substack Sender: Substack References: In-Reply-To: Reply-To: Substack List-Owner: List-Url: List-Archive: List-Id: List-Post: List-Unsubscribe: List-Unsubscribe-Post: List-Unsubscribe=One-Click X-Mailgun-Variables: {"category": "post", "email_generated_at": "1778605673456", "is_freemail": "true", "post_audience": "everyone", "post_id": "197362582", "post_type": "podcast", "pub_community_enabled": "true", "publication_id": "1", "subdomain": "on", "user_id": "273622398"} --647e621e5172ef5ef053756890c600cbcd12e1e06336f4c3dccf2178419b Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable View this post on the web at https://on.substack.com/p/open-tab-esther-pere= l The psychotherapy room is, by design, one of the most private spaces in hum= an life, but Esther Perel has devoted much of her career to opening the do= or. Addressing relationships, cross-cultural psychology, and the contours o= f belonging, she brought therapeutic ideas out into the world through a bod= y of work that spans talks, books, and her hit podcast Where Should We Begi= n?, which has reached millions of listeners across nearly a decade. In her = Substack publication Entre Nous with Esther Perel , she says she=E2=80=99s = found a gathering place for it all: =E2=80=9CI always talk about how I want= ed to bring the therapeutic ideas into the public square,=E2=80=9D she told= us. =E2=80=9CNow I want to create a public square.=E2=80=9D On the day of the 20th anniversary re-release of her book Mating in Captivi= ty, a cultural touchstone on the topic of desire, we=E2=80=99re sharing a c= onversation between Esther and Hanne Winarsky , Substack=E2=80=99s head of = new media, recorded at Temple Bar in SoHo, New York. In this second episode= of Open Tab, Esther discusses how she hires and has built her businesses, = how work has replaced religion as a source of meaning, whether AI can give = good therapy, and how she=E2=80=99s made it her life=E2=80=99s work to re-c= reate the proverbial village online. ENTRE NOUS Founded: October 2025 Format: Weekly newsletter and podcast Subscribers: Thousands of paid (orange checkmark bestseller) Extensions and verticals: Podcast Where Should We Begin?, featuring real, a= nonymous therapy sessions, with episode-specific chats and debriefs for pai= d subscribers. Exclusive behind-the-scenes conversations, personal reflecti= ons, and essays. Live virtual events, including =E2=80=9CAsk Me Anything=E2= =80=9D sessions for top-tier members. Paid tiers: Free (monthly letters, weekly podcast episodes, select livestre= ams), Paid =E2=80=94 $9/month or $90/year (ad-free listening, full chat and= commenting access, bonus content), Salon Community =E2=80=94 $200/year (al= l of the above, plus live AMAs with Esther a few times a year) Hanne: You talk a lot in your work about security and desire and the balanc= e between them=E2=80=94in families, in work, in all kinds of relationships.= What is the relationship between work and risk? Esther: There are so many ways to answer this. I have never worked for anyo= ne. I=E2=80=99ve worked for clinics, I=E2=80=99ve worked in hospitals, but = I=E2=80=99ve never been a full-time employee somewhere. And I always said, = I can tolerate the lack of security better than I can tolerate the lack of = freedom. This was the life of the therapist. You do it all by yourself. And= that=E2=80=99s part of why at some point I feel like I want more, I want s= omething else. I want to meet people. I want a meeting. I=E2=80=99ve never = had a meeting. Everybody else complains about boring meetings. I want a mee= ting with five people who are all thinking out loud together. The theory on trust and risk has never been conclusive. Do you need to take= risks in order to learn to trust, or do you need to trust in order to be a= ble to take risks? That is the big question, and there is no answer to it. Hanne: Why was the podcast [Where Should We Begin?] not a risk? Esther: Because I think I know what I=E2=80=99m doing when I meet a couple.= Because couples therapy is among the most compelling stories you can hear.= Because I know that people are really lonely and have no idea what=E2=80= =99s happening in the couple next door, and their best friends can come and= tell them they=E2=80=99re divorcing, and they never saw it coming. Hanne: Do you think it=E2=80=99s possible to get good therapy from AI? Esther: Yes. A certain kind of therapy. Is it possible to get good therapy = from Esther? A certain kind of therapy, for a certain kind of person. The b= etter you are, the more you are an acquired taste=E2=80=94the perfect fit f= or some and utterly not for others. I=E2=80=99m now in the thick of how to = use AI inside therapy. I=E2=80=99m trying to tell therapists not to ignore = it. I used to get threatened if somebody went to an astrologer or a tarot r= eader or a futurist, because I thought they were undermining the process of= therapy. Then I started to ask them, what did the tarot reader say? Bring = me the astrology chart. Let=E2=80=99s read it together. Maybe they see some= thing you don=E2=80=99t see. Don=E2=80=99t be so insecure. So now I say to my students, do the same with AI. Don=E2=80=99t just have t= hem tell you. Ask them, what did ChatGPT say? Bring it to me. Open your pho= ne. Let=E2=80=99s read it together. And make it useful for the work you=E2= =80=99re doing. You want to learn to say something? Tell the chat to remind= you three times a day to ask your partner, how are you? Tell the chat to s= ummarize the obsessive rumination of your ex who sends you 60 pages every t= wo days. Tell the chat [to tell you]: What is actually important here? What= is logistics? What decisions do I need to make? What do I actually have to= do? And what is the rest=E2=80=94berating, nostalgia, criticism? And the c= hat gave the most amazing response: This is nostalgia, this is criticism, t= his is what she wants to do with the money, this is what you need to decide= by tomorrow. Three bullet points. Why should you read all of that and then= get upset and spend two hours trying to regulate your nervous system? Hanne: Many people who are in the act of culture-making notice a moment tha= t musicians call flow. What is that for you? Esther: I can be in flow in many different situations. As a child of Holoca= ust survivors who spent years in concentration camps and could not do anyth= ing=E2=80=94on some level, in a symbolic way, not being helpless, having ag= ency, being able to have a mark on society or on other people=E2=80=99s liv= es, having impact, control, change, whichever way you want=E2=80=94that is = probably one of the most existentially important things for me. I don=E2=80= =99t think of it as risk. I think of it as meaning. I get flow from that. I= t=E2=80=99s when I feel powerful. I don=E2=80=99t feel helpless. I don=E2= =80=99t feel impotent. It=E2=80=99s not a concrete thing. I=E2=80=99ve neve= r really said any of this, actually. It is probably at the core of what dri= ves me. I like to matter, because if I matter, I can=E2=80=99t be erased. Hanne: You said earlier that you never wanted to build a media business, bu= t you have. What makes you different as a leader? Esther: Because I=E2=80=99ve always been self-employed, I have gravitated t= owards people who are like that too: experts in their own field. When they = tell me what to do, I listen and I do it, because I think they understand t= his like I understand that. It=E2=80=99s not really hierarchical. My team t= ells me what they think, what to do. They speak back. They understand what = I know, but they understand what they know, and I think that=E2=80=99s a ve= ry different structure. I expect people to really communicate with each other a lot, because everyb= ody is interdependent with the others. The Substack people need to interact= with the podcast people, need to interact with the content people, need to= interact with the newsletter, with social. Substack has become that gather= ing place. That=E2=80=99s why I joined Substack. I needed one place where a= ll these people who were talking to each other could actually put everythin= g together. I always talk about how I wanted to bring the therapeutic ideas= into the public square. Now I wanted to create a public square for myself. Hanne: You are now a very well-known set of ideas and culture in and of you= rself. What is it like to be a human and also be a brand? Esther: I connect to the fact that if people stop me on the street, they do= n=E2=80=99t just recognize me. They come to tell me they read this, and the= y listened to that. I was there for their divorce, I was there for their gr= ief, I was there for their heartbreak. People recognize me by my voice. The= y don=E2=80=99t necessarily know what I look like, but they hear me. I=E2= =80=99m on a plane and somebody says, are you who I think you are? I say ye= s. And then I say, What do you do? Do you read? Do you watch or do you list= en? And then depending on whichever way they learn, I say, and what was it?= What=E2=80=99s one thing that has actually been useful for you? And then I= can handle it. Then I feel like there is substance here. FOOTNOTES Temple Bar [ https://substack.com/redirect/0b74a544-6e36-4e0f-82b7-5c22119c= 1757?j=3DeyJ1IjoiNGl3b2U2In0.sVDxRtmZ85v8kfdamY0krRXGMy3p768BWtuZifRB-Zs ],= 332 Hudson St., New York=E2=80=94SoHo fixture with a long bar and low ligh= ting. Summerhill [ https://substack.com/redirect/7da37fe2-0d4e-4f3e-bd39-53c01680= 9e39?j=3DeyJ1IjoiNGl3b2U2In0.sVDxRtmZ85v8kfdamY0krRXGMy3p768BWtuZifRB-Zs ]= =E2=80=94The progressive boarding school in Suffolk, England, cited by Esth= er, founded in 1921, where children set their own rules and class attendanc= e is optional. =E2=80=9CIn Search of Erotic Intelligence=E2=80=9D [ https://substack.com/r= edirect/8bab7cb8-1006-4f4d-8370-b6812bfa518d?j=3DeyJ1IjoiNGl3b2U2In0.sVDxRt= mZ85v8kfdamY0krRXGMy3p768BWtuZifRB-Zs ]=E2=80=94The article Esther wrote fo= r a professional therapy magazine in response to the Clinton=E2=80=93Lewins= ky scandal, which landed on the cover of the Utne Reader and led to her boo= k deal. Mating in Captivity [ https://substack.com/redirect/1c57e6ec-e82b-46d4-b347= -ffb1bc13a32d?j=3DeyJ1IjoiNGl3b2U2In0.sVDxRtmZ85v8kfdamY0krRXGMy3p768BWtuZi= fRB-Zs ]=E2=80=94Translated into more than 30 languages. The bestseller cha= llenged the conventional wisdom that love and desire are natural companions= , instead arguing that the qualities that nurture love=E2=80=94security, cl= oseness, predictability=E2=80=94can erode desire. The new edition includes = a preface on two decades of cultural change, from dating apps to AI. =E2=80=9CThe secret to desire in a long-term relationship=E2=80=9D [ https:= //substack.com/redirect/3e0cbcb4-e779-4512-ab4f-346250b58d96?j=3DeyJ1IjoiNG= l3b2U2In0.sVDxRtmZ85v8kfdamY0krRXGMy3p768BWtuZifRB-Zs ]=E2=80=94Esther=E2= =80=99s viral TED Talk, delivered in a salon rather than on the main stage,= improvised from memory. Where Should We Begin? [ https://substack.com/redirect/e5fe1b13-fdd4-4a56-8= 0fc-14c778769e6e?j=3DeyJ1IjoiNGl3b2U2In0.sVDxRtmZ85v8kfdamY0krRXGMy3p768BWt= uZifRB-Zs ]=E2=80=94Esther=E2=80=99s long-running podcast, in which she tal= ks to real life couples and individuals navigating complex relationship iss= ues, for all to listen in. New episodes of Open Tab drop weekly through June. You can watch on YouTube= , listen wherever you get your podcasts, and always find the full series he= re on Substack. Unsubscribe https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9vbi5zdWJzdGF= jay5jb20vYWN0aW9uL2Rpc2FibGVfZW1haWw_dG9rZW49ZXlKMWMyVnlYMmxrSWpveU56TTJNak= l6T1Rnc0luQnZjM1JmYVdRaU9qRTVOek0yTWpVNE1pd2lhV0YwSWpveE56YzROakExTmpjekxDS= mxlSEFpT2pFNE1UQXhOREUyTnpNc0ltbHpjeUk2SW5CMVlpMHhJaXdpYzNWaUlqb2laR2x6WVdK= c1pWOWxiV0ZwYkNKOS5pc1RGbEhrSG4zbWRHcWNGbldnTmdDLTJXN095bF9iN2J0YW9aVnhWU2F= RIiwicCI6MTk3MzYyNTgyLCJzIjoxLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJ1IjoyNzM2MjIzOTgsImlhdCI6MTc3OD= YwNTY3MywiZXhwIjoyMDk0MTgxNjczLCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImxpbmstcmVkaXJlY= 3QifQ.4scWK0HK_FowUYDA9O4mLoBl0fHHK-XgwalhUiVAsMA? --647e621e5172ef5ef053756890c600cbcd12e1e06336f4c3dccf2178419b Content-Type: text/html; charset="utf-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable = Open Tab: Esther Perel3D""
Watch now | The renowned psychotherapist on what gives her life = meaning, the antidote to social atrophy, AI as therapeutic tool, and cultiv= ating the public square online.
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3D"20260511_OpenTab_Esther_FINAL_4k.mp4"
 
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<= a href=3D"https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=3D1&post_id=3D1= 97362582&utm_source=3Dpost-email-title&utm_campaign=3Demail-post-title&isFr= eemail=3Dtrue&r=3D4iwoe6&token=3DeyJ1c2VyX2lkIjoyNzM2MjIzOTgsInBvc3RfaWQiOj= E5NzM2MjU4MiwiaWF0IjoxNzc4NjA1NjczLCJleHAiOjE3ODExOTc2NzMsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xI= iwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.Bk7Swjojb_9TpyP8Zxf7HJB-m_2zCwe5dQz93jcHNcg= " style=3D"color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Open Tab: Esther Pe= rel

The renowned psychotherapist on what gives her life meaning, the an= tidote to social atrophy, AI as therapeutic tool, and cultivating the publi= c square online.

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Esther Perel and Hanne Winarsky
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Th= e psychotherapy room is, by design, one of the most private spaces in human= life, but Esther Perel has de= voted much of her career to opening the door. Addressing relationships, cro= ss-cultural psychology, and the contours of belonging, she brought therapeu= tic ideas out into the world through a body of work that spans talks, books= , and her hit podcast Where Should We Begin?, which h= as reached millions of listeners across nearly a decade. In her Substack pu= blication Entre Nous with Esther Perel, sh= e says she’s found a gathering place for it all: “I always talk= about how I wanted to bring the therapeutic ideas into the public square,&= #8221; she told us. “Now I want to create a public square.”

On the day of the 20th anniversary re-release of = her book Mating in Captivity, a cultural touchstone o= n the topic of desire, we’re sharing a conversation between Esther an= d Hanne Winarsky, Substack&#= 8217;s head of new media, recorded at Temple Bar in SoHo, New York. In this= second episode of Open Tab, Esther discusses how she hires and has built h= er businesses, how work has replaced religion as a source of meaning, wheth= er AI can give good therapy, and how she’s made it her life’s w= ork to re-create the proverbial village online.

ENTRE NOUS

Found= ed: October 2025

Format:<= span> Weekly newsletter and podcast

Subscribers:<= /strong> Thousands of paid (orange checkmark bestseller)

Extensions and verticals: Podcast W= here Should We Begin?, featuring real, anonymous therapy session= s, with episode-specific chats and debriefs for paid subscribers. Exclusive= behind-the-scenes conversations, personal reflections, and essays. Live vi= rtual events, including “Ask Me Anything” sessions for top-tier= members.

Paid tiers: Free (monthl= y letters, weekly podcast episodes, select livestreams), Paid — $9/mo= nth or $90/year (ad-free listening, full chat and commenting access, bonus = content), Salon Community — $200/year (all of the above, plus live AM= As with Esther a few times a year)

Hanne= : You talk a lot in your work about security and desire and = the balance between them—in families, in work, in all kinds of relati= onships. What is the relationship between work and risk?

Esther: There are so many ways to answer this. = I have never worked for anyone. I’ve worked for clinics, I’ve w= orked in hospitals, but I’ve never been a full-time employee somewher= e. And I always said, I can tolerate the lack of security better than I can= tolerate the lack of freedom. This was the life of the therapist. You do i= t all by yourself. And that’s part of why at some point I feel like I= want more, I want something else. I want to meet people. I want a meeting.= I’ve never had a meeting. Everybody else complains about boring meet= ings. I want a meeting with five people who are all thinking out loud toget= her.

The theory on trust and risk has never been con= clusive. Do you need to take risks in order to learn to trust, or do you ne= ed to trust in order to be able to take risks? That is the big question, an= d there is no answer to it.

Hanne: W= hy was the podcast [Where Should We Begin?] not a risk?

Esther: Because I think I know what I’m d= oing when I meet a couple. Because couples therapy is among the most compel= ling stories you can hear. Because I know that people are really lonely and= have no idea what’s happening in the couple next door, and their bes= t friends can come and tell them they’re divorcing, and they never sa= w it coming.

Hanne: Do you thin= k it’s possible to get good therapy from AI?

<= strong>Esther: Yes. A certain kind of therapy. Is it possibl= e to get good therapy from Esther? A certain kind of therapy, for a certain= kind of person. The better you are, the more you are an acquired tasteR= 12;the perfect fit for some and utterly not for others. I’m now in th= e thick of how to use AI inside therapy. I’m trying to tell therapist= s not to ignore it. I used to get threatened if somebody went to an astrolo= ger or a tarot reader or a futurist, because I thought they were underminin= g the process of therapy. Then I started to ask them, what did the tarot re= ader say? Bring me the astrology chart. Let’s read it together. Maybe= they see something you don’t see. Don’t be so insecure.=

So now I say to my students, do the same with AI. Don̵= 7;t just have them tell you. Ask them, what did ChatGPT say? Bring it to me= =2E Open your phone. Let’s read i= t together. And make it useful for the= work you’re doing. You want to learn to say something? Tell the chat= to remind you three times a day to ask your partner, how are you? Tell the= chat to summarize the obsessive rumination of your ex who sends you 60 pag= es every two days. Tell the chat [to tell you]: What is actually important = here? What is logistics? What decisions do I need to make? What do I actual= ly have to do? And what is the rest—berating, nostalgia, criticism? A= nd the chat gave the most amazing response: This is nostalgia, this is crit= icism, this is what she wants to do with the money, this is what you need t= o decide by tomorrow. Three bullet points. Why should you read all of that = and then get upset and spend two hours trying to regulate your nervous syst= em?

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Hanne: Many people who are in the = act of culture-making notice a moment that musicians call flow. What is tha= t for you?

Esther: I can be i= n flow in many different situations. As a child of Holocaust survivors who = spent years in concentration camps and could not do anything—on some = level, in a symbolic way, not being helpless, having agency, being able to = have a mark on society or on other people’s lives, having impact, con= trol, change, whichever way you want—that is probably one of the most= existentially important things for me. I don’t think of it as risk. = I think of it as meaning. I get flow from that. It’s when I feel powe= rful. I don’t feel helpless. I don’t feel impotent. It’s = not a concrete thing. I’ve never really said any of this, actually. I= t is probably at the core of what drives me. I like to matter, because if I= matter, I can’t be erased.

Hanne: You said earlier that you never wanted to build a media busines= s, but you have. What makes you different as a leader?

Esther: Because I’ve always been self-emp= loyed, I have gravitated towards people who are like that too: experts in t= heir own field. When they tell me what to do, I listen and I do it, because= I think they understand this like I understand that. It’s not really= hierarchical. My team tells me what they think, what to do. They speak bac= k. They understand what I know, but they understand what they know, and I t= hink that’s a very different structure.

I expe= ct people to really communicate with each other a lot, because everybody is= interdependent with the others. The Substack people need to interact with = the podcast people, need to interact with the content people, need to inter= act with the newsletter, with social. Substack has become that gathering pl= ace. That’s why I joined Substack. I needed one place where all these= people who were talking to each other could actually put everything togeth= er. I always talk about how I wanted to bring the therapeutic ideas into th= e public square. Now I wanted to create a public square for myself.

Hanne: You are now a very well-known set of= ideas and culture in and of yourself. What is it like to be a human and al= so be a brand?

Esther: I conn= ect to the fact that if people stop me on the street, they don’t just= recognize me. They come to tell me they read this, and they listened to th= at. I was there for their divorce, I was there for their grief, I was there= for their heartbreak. People recognize me by my voice. They don’t ne= cessarily know what I look like, but they hear me. I’m on a plane and= somebody says, are you who I think you are? I say yes. And then I say, Wha= t do you do? Do you read? Do you watch or do you listen? And then depending= on whichever way they learn, I say, and what was it? What’s one thin= g that has actually been useful for you? And then I can handle it. Then I f= eel like there is substance here.

FOOTNOTES

  1. Temple Bar, 332 Hudson St= =2E, New York—SoHo fixture with a= long bar and low lighting.

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  2. Summerhill—The progressive boardi= ng school in Suffolk, England, cited by Esther, founded in 1921, where chil= dren set their own rules and class attendance is optional.

    3. <= li style=3D"margin: 8px 0 0 32px;">

    “In Search of Erotic Intelligence”—The article Esther wrote for a professional therapy magazine in res= ponse to the Clinton–Lewinsky scandal, which landed on the cover of t= he Utne Reader and led to her book deal.

  3. Mat= ing in Captivity—Translated into more than 30= languages. The bestseller challenged the conventional wisdom that love and= desire are natural companions, instead arguing that the qualities that nur= ture love—security, closeness, predictability—can erode desire.= The new edition includes a preface on two decades of cultural change, from= dating apps to AI.

  4. “The secret to desir= e in a long-term relationship”—Esther’= s viral TED Talk, delivered in a salon rather than on the main stage, impro= vised from memory.

  5. Where Should We Begin?—Esther’s long-running podcast, in which she talks = to real life couples and individuals navigating complex relationship issues= , for all to listen in.

New episodes of Open Tab drop weekly through June. You can watc= h on YouTube, listen wherever you get your podcasts, and always find the fu= ll series here on Substack.

Substack for M= edia Founders

A guest post by
= Esther Perel
Renowned psychotherapist, NYT bestselling = author, and podcast host exploring the intricacies of modern relationships,= intimacy, and desire.
Subscribe to = Esther
A guest post by
<= /tbody>
= Hanne Winarsky
Head of New Media @ Substack
Subscribe to Hanne
<= div class=3D"typography" style=3D"--image-offset-margin: -120px;font-size: = 16px;line-height: 26px;">

Thanks for subscribing to On Substack. This p= ost is public, so feel free to share it.

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